I Wish I Could Have Said Thank You in the Dark

I wish I could have said thank you in the dark

It would have been more heroic 

I wish I could have stood my ground in courage

and planted my feet, fearless in the fog

Instead, I fell long and deep and slow

into despair for all my eyes could not see

And though You knew the plans you had for me were good

You let me fall 

into You 

And cry hot tears on your neck 

and rage and pound and tempest on your chest

You didn’t try to explain 

You just whispered “wait” and “I’m here”

And you picked me up and carried me to this place

where green fields open wide and the sky touches the earth 

and all your gifts brim and spill and splash here at my feet

And I am so grateful, so open-mouth-awed at all you did

I just wish I could have said thank you in the dark