Darkness Overwhelms Me, As Light Dresses Up For War

An hour ago the words too hideous to hear, too pitch black to say, filled the air with too much damnable darkness that I cannot see for blinding rage and cannot breath but I must fight… and darkness overwhelms me, tears corrode my face with grieving streams and my heart is all in shaking, raging pieces on the ground.

Our little girl, one of our little ones, only nine years alive on earth was ripped apart last night in the darkness, by the darkness, the pitch dark will of a twisted man. A soul  once formed by the breath of God, now mal-formed into hideous pitch.

She is nine, she is nine, she is nine. I want to scream and tear the heavens down, my soul bursts open with rage. And why does the world still spin when such darkness roams it’s streets? My head spins and my heart torrents raging tears.

And an hour before the news came I remember lightening cracking overhead, breaking open the sky with rain like tears and I know God saw, the only eyes that saw last night and I know He grieves and I know He saw it coming. And the lighting cracks and roars and the rain washes, and can it wipe these tears, the tears that fill up oceans on this earth?

This may have been in her path, way too soon, way too much for her to not be suffocated and drowned by but I know God saw it coming. And like a line drawn in the sand he started working before evil worked it’s worst. This alone is all I have to stand on. No other words can heal this broken all.

Last night it happened, this morning we heard, this afternoon our partnering play therapist and her husband arrive on a plane into Kingston. A trip booked over six months ago. Because God saw it coming. And He’ll be damned before He’ll let the darkness win.

Darkness overwhelms us and wrenches us in two, but light is dressed for battle and is walking out to war.

Even while I still shake in raging grief, I hope in this and this alone and stand on this and this alone. The creator of all spinning worlds who breathed out fiery furnace stars and once shouted to the empty dark ‘Let light be’,  He sees.

And this same God who breathed us into life now breaths again His life in us filling our veins with oxygen wrapped in light. And in Him we stand and in him we’ll one-day win.

The line is in the sand. Darkness overstepped it’s mark. And standing behind our God we’ll be damned before the darkness wins. Darkness overwhelms us and wrenches us in two, but light is dressed for battle and is walking out to war.



5 Comments Add yours

  1. Leeanne says:

    Oh Liz, my heart breaks too… and anger rises for the damage done….
    Keep fighting the darkness and making a difference for so many of these little ones that experience stuff that they just shouldn’t…
    I read this morning that ‘Jesus is praying for us’…. and today in your pain I pray that you will know this deeply xx


    1. seeingbreathingliving says:

      Thanks Leeanne. I’m still feeling a bit undone by it but I also see that its no coincidence that Jeanne arrives from Canada on the same day this news arrives. God is ready to heal this little one. Jeanne is also running multiple seminars and training sessions on working with traumatised children, so many children will benefit from this.


  2. Jill I'Anson says:

    Oh Liz, I was moved, so sad, the helplessness, and cruelty – I just cried! So hard to understand what makes a human being turn into such an animal and do this to one of God’s little ones. Thanks for sharing your grief and anger, I wish I knew something soothing to say to calm that inner place and I know you are drawing on God. I know the grief, hurt and anger will be there for a while, but I’m so thankful we have workers like you and David ready to sacrifice so much for these little ones, these beautiful children. Love you Liz and David and family and may God’s peace rest upon you, peace that only Jesus can give….we will be praying for you all.


    1. seeingbreathingliving says:

      Hi A. Jill, thanks for your payers. Its been a horribly sad day but we had slightly better news this evening that though the little girl was traumatised she was not raped as badly as we had first heard, that was the perpetrators intention, but as the worst was about to happen someone nearby who had grown suspicious forced open the door and caught him before he could further violate her. I feel like God answered our prayers before we knew to pray them A. Jill. We are so relieved. It is still a traumatising incident for this child but the damage could have been far worse. Please keep praying for her, her family and the community she still needs support to process all that has happened to her.


  3. Wynsome says:

    Dear Liz, only read this now… heard about it from Anne yesterday… I echo Jill’s words, and yours which portray this horror and hope. Grace and strength to you and David and family, and all working with you.


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